Around our twenties we seem to get anxious expectations. We want to rush. We want to move out of our parents home. We want to decorate our first apartment. We want an education and a job. We want to meet new people and make lasting friendships. We want to go out late and dance. We want to be free.
We want, want, and want.
We want to know exactly what we will be doing for the rest of our lives. We want to have someone to come home to. We want someone to be there for us when we’re tired of all the nights out. We want someone to remind us that we matter. We want to have a secure relationship to fall back on. We want to know that we won’t be alone forever.
We want to have our whole lives planned even though they just started.
My freshman year of college, I loved being single and did whatever I pleased. Each time a guy tried to get serious I would back off. Eventually, most of my friends settled into a relationship and suddenly my freedom was a little less appealing. I began to over think about how I wanted a boyfriend and became fixated on the idea of having one.
What I Don’t Need
I don’t need a boyfriend. I don’t need someone to fall back on. I don’t need to be intentionally looking for someone. I don’t want to date someone because I’m not independent enough to be alone.
What I Do Need
I need to learn who I am and spend time with myself. I need to learn what I want in life and how to get there. I need to sing songs at the top of my lungs alone. I need to read as many books as possible and succeed in school. I need to know how to be whole by myself.
When intentionally looking for someone you’re most likely not going to find the one.
Don’t settle with someone because you didn’t want to be alone, one day you may wonder what could have been.
You are not a half waiting to be completed by someone else. You are a whole. You should be with someone who reminds you that you are whole all by yourself.
Don’t live your life searching, planning or in fear. Just live.
“What’s comin’ will come and we’ll meet it when it does” -Hagrid