Maintaining My Dignity
Everyone has a different reaction to a heartbreak whether it’s spontaneously dying your hair black, crying in bed for days, rebounding with another man or moving on.
After a heartbreak my immediate instinct is to just mope around. Sometimes I like to cry until I can’t anymore, but after awhile I recollect myself and remember who I am. I lived without them before and I can again. I never want to pine over someone who doesn’t even check in to see how I am. I would rather use the pain as power toward reaching personal goals and bettering myself for someone who will want to be with me.
Whatever I do, I don’t want to wait for someone to change their mind and come back. The hopeful thought is consuming and not worth my time. I am good enough and don’t need to wait for someone to realize that.
I tend to notice the good in people when meeting them. For example, there’s a very sweet girl in my church group and each time I see her I think, “Wow, I bet any guy would hold on to her tightly.” I was astonished when I found out she had been through a recent heartbreak. My immediate thought was, “How could any guy be silly enough to lose her?” Truth be told, we all have unique qualities and a bystander who probably thinks the same way about us.
The following are two of my favorite text messages my friend sent me:
“Don’t waste your time crying, this past summer I went through the same stuff and it’s rough. The only thing to do is keep living life, things happen and people f us over. At the end of the day it’s our life and we get to do what we want with it. We manifest our own happiness.”
“Sadly that’s how life goes, we outgrow people and change. Right now is a weird time in our lives where we feel lonely and like there isn’t anyone there for us. My mom keeps telling me it’s okay, that it’s okay to be lonely sometimes. This is probably one of the last times that we will get to feel like this because life will hit us quick.”
Moving On Advice
Determine your attitude: I’m someone who’s guilty of using future events when they think of happiness. Yes, I will be happy one day when I’m married, but happiness is not a destination. I can determine my mood and tune into the present moment and be happy with what I have now.
Use inspiring tools: Read a book or watch a YouTube video about a successful person’s journey, I’m sure they have had to overcome a tragic event to get to where they are now.
Get up and move: My body loves me and is always there for me so I do not need to let it go for someone who let go of me.
Eat happy foods: I’m not going to feel much better when my body feels like a slug. I need to feed my cells needed nutrients so I can function properly.
Keep in touch with friends: Friendly reminder people are there and do care.
Take a social media break: I initially made social media to store memories and to keep in contact with friends. Not to use my page as a weapon to grab an old flame’s attention or stalk their page.